Dear Apple...(take a seat, it's gonna be a long letter!)

(C) Austin Kleon

Dear Apple

The first time I looked at you, I felt we had a connection, like maybe we were soul mates, we were meant to be together somehow.
It wasn't love at first sight, at least I don't think it was but I just felt this incredible, rare connection.

Maybe it was your style, your easy-going attitude. You looked sharp, smart and easy to get on with and you know what?.... You were also incredibly helpful and sexy!

The more time I spent with you, the more I fell in love with you and then it's started....the beginning of a beautiful, love story between you and I.
7 years of love, trust and appreciation during which I felt happy and secure.

The day I accidentally dropped my good old Blackberry in the toilet (as you do when your phone is in your cardigan pocket and you move like the storm like I do) I didn't think twice about replacement my old Berry companion for your iPhone and to be honest it was a good thing as it lead to another 3 to 4 years of bliss and happiness.

As a blogger, you made my life complete so I never ever looked at any other boys other than you in the past seven years.
If I needed something new for my beautiful company or for our family home, I would turn to you....ALWAYS... and over the years between 4 iMac, 2 MacBook Pro, 2 iPads, 2 iPods, 2 iPhones, 1 Airport and various accessories, I probably invested over £10,000 in you.

And now when I look at your poor reaction, I'm thinking...

Have we reached that crucial, challenging point in a relationship? 

Have we reached the dreading seven years itch? 

TELL ME! Because it certainly feels like you don't love me anymore.
And I really don't want to sound clingy but I need closure to move on with my life. 

What did I do to you to deserve to be treated like that? 

I mean...over the past seven years, all I've been doing was to be committed to our relationship, to trust you, I treated you with respect, I praised you to my friends and family, I loved you and cherished you.

So yes I broke the glass of my iPhone 5...Stuff happens, that's life!
The day before, my car had broken down on the M4 and my 8-years old daughter and I got home at 2am (not a great week!)

Was I tired, stressed when I was trying to sort out the towing truck and repairs to get the car fixed?? 

You bet I was.
Did I drop my phone on purpose just to test your limits? 

No I didn't and I never done anything irrespectful - although now that you mention it -  the fact I had to change recently the faulty cord of my 6-months old iPhone and I had to pay again £15 annoyed me a bit but hey it was only £15, what's the heck! 

In a relationship, it's best to choose your battles....

HOWEVER, I certainly didn't expect you to charge me £175 to change the glass - sorry I mean the whole phone - because your genius friend behind this must have thought it would be tremendously practical to have a fragile, glass front for people to break regularly.

See... I thought you were smart but to me (and correct me if I'm wrong!) putting a glass face on a phone that can not be replaced IS NOT A SMART THING. 

In fact, quite the contrary...you have to admit it was a very dumb decision!!!

You know what alienated me the most when I went to see your friends in Westfields ??

I was to be told that the broken part couldn't not be replaced and the whole phone had to be changed. 

It was bad enough to receive a brand new faulty iPhone at Xmas and to wait for 2 weeks to come back to the UK to play with my new baby but being told 6 months later that I had to pay £175 for a new phone.....frankly, that deserves a slap!

I think you ought to have a chat with your friends in-store too....

I mean the guy told me the phone costs in fact £900....

Erm hello!!!! 

Who in their right mind would pay £900 for a phone except someone who calls her newborn Kaidence or North...whatever Kim chose.

Honey, I'm really sorry to break this to you but the country is in recession and I would have thought the smart part of your brains would have picked that up by now but I guess you're not as smart as I thought you were.

You also need to tell your friend in-store that telling me that he broke his phone 3 times wasn't helpful at all...one time, fair enough, twice...umm yeah ok why not but 3 times!? duh!!

I also doubt that he was asked to pay £175 each time with his staff discount but that's another issue.

The last thing that really pushed my button is that not only you couldn't replace the glass and charge me something reasonable like £20/£30 - which says to me that IT IS A MANUFACTURING FAULT - but also you wanted to keep the old phone!!

So not only, I've paid for a new iPhone at Xmas, then 6 months later because you fail to replace the glass, I have to pay another £175 and you want to keep the first one!!

Why is that? In my book, I've paid for two phones so why should on earth I give you the first one back! Tell me, explain to me in plain English please because it really sounds to me that you are in to really screw me one more time.

Anyway, I'm just writing to you to let you know that I'm done with you! 

It breaks my heart, I genuinely love you but you see... 

I can't be in a relationship that is one way, soon you will grab my neck in a restaurant and says its "a playful tiff"

I can't .

I love you but I love myself even more. I don't want to be in a stressful relationships that is going to alienate me and that is exactly what you've done. 

For all the love, money spent, positive word of mouth I spread during these past 7 years, all you have done as a thank you gift is asking me to pay another £175, because your friend - the genius - thought it was very clever to have a glass front that could not be replaceable.

Look I know you love your friends and I respect that but I'm sorry the one who came out with that is not the sharpest tool in the box.

And it's a shame....a real shame because you see, my daughter grew up an iPad, at the age of 8, she knows her way around a computer like I did in my 30s and while I was proud of calling us a Apple family, now I'm hugely frustrated .....hugely and I don't love you anymore. 

I think you suck, your manners are appalling, you're becoming high maintenance, expensive, selfish without giving anything back and you know what? 

It won't last...

You can't take consistently from all the people that loved you and supported you because at some point, there will be a breaking point and I know I've reached mine. 

You haven't done anything at all to salvage our relationship, you made me feel unappreciated, used and I feel I've wasted 7 years of my life with you and I promise you this, my daughter won't get anything else from Apple until she can afford to buy into your cheap things again but I will tell her how bad, unreliable you were helping me out when I needed you the most.

You're  basically selfish and greedy.... and if you carry on like this taking but not giving, this will be the beginning of the end and in a few years, my beloved Apple, you will be just another ghost... like ATARI, yep you won't be cool anymore.

Do I think am I being clever by writing this? 

To be honest I really don't care. I'm a woman. I need to feel heard and appreciated.

Plus, I'm doing a 30-day Bikram challenge so I'm almost like a little Buddha and I'm feeling quite calm but I'm hugely disappointed and I wanted you to know what a disappointment you've been and I hope somehow you will see the light and make things right for us, for our relationship. 

A part of me still hopes we can save our relationship because after 7 years, it's worth something (I don't know £10K spent on my part vs £175 on yours...doesn't seem like I'm asking for the moon considering it is a maufacturing fault) or maybe it's just me... I'm just a romantic, maybe I try to see the good in people where there is nothing to see ....I don't know.

I think you can do better, I have faith in you, deep down I hope you will care and fight for our relationship to save it but if you don't that OK. You make your own decisions.

I don't think I was being unreasonable here, I was ok to pay for a replacement glass, the fact that you can't because it's a manufacturing issue, is your problem not mine. 

It becomes mine when you want to steal £175 again from me and keep my old phone which frankly, besides the broken glass, works just fine (unlike the first one).

I shall miss not using my iPhone to post update on Facebook, my blog, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest but that's ok, there is plenty of fishes in the sea and I'm sure soon I will fall in love with a more reliable, cool guy.

I wish you all the best.

Karine Candice (still living in hope)